why didn't you poke me back
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
