You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
