I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
