Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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