There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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