I CAN MOONWALK!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
