More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
