Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
