Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
