umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
