whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize