you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
