I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's blow job season.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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