I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is Oprah even human
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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