I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
