You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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