need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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