The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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