We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
