Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
