Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
