she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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