But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
