Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
