Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You are a genius and a whore.
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