So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize