You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
