38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
