Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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