I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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