Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
