I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
