i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
