how can u be prego again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
