I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
