I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
