a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
