I'm so fucking centered right now
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
