he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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