please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
