I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This is the high leading the old right now
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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