mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
