gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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