i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize