Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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