They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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