Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
