i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you had me at cake vodka
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
