shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
