420 ftw
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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