I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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