Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
