I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i think i just lost a toe
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize