census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
