Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
