Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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