I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
